Hearing From The Heart

The Call


I could feel within me the desire growing to do something else related to ministry work while I am still able, not when I am too old and weak. We are always operating on this premise, that we can volunteer our time, or do ministry-related work or mission work when we are retire. But the sad fact is that most likely when we are old, we are of not much help to any organization.

Having a secular job and doubling up in ministry-related work has been a struggle, a struggle to make  time for such altruistic type work. It is because of its secondary in nature compared to full time paid employment. I also struggles with discipline of  setting aside devotional and prayer time by reason of a demanding nature of the job, meeting schedules, and pre-occupying with the many challenges due to the kind of work and job responsibilities.

In a state of limbo

I have been pondering much about this for quite a few years, and have even openly expressing to colleagues.  Well as expected, such colleagues help to keep me going towards this goal by holding my feet to the fire.

I do not know when is the suitable timing that is according to God’s plan and purpose for such a move. That makes me fret. Using my natural mind thinking, I was thinking that it would be simpler to just wait for the organization to retrench me.

In that scenario, I would be amply compensated. Once no longer having employment, I could naturally have the time for some full time ministry-related work though I still have not figure out yet what to be involved with. I am also believing that whatever the work will be revealed as I am led along by His Spirit.

So it is easier to delay and to wait for a retrenchment exercise. And I can then continuing staying in my comfort zone and keeping my routine secure lifestyle.

A sudden change in environment

The market situation for our industry sector was really bad and businesses was suddenly slowing very fast. This gave me some hope of getting a golden handshake retrenchment deal. There is this likelihood that I will be forced out of my employment work to go to do what my heart desires to do, doing things related to ministry and mission work.

However, through conversations with bosses about me being volunteer to be retrenched, and putting out feelers of how high chances of this been supported by them, I found out that my superiors, all of them, have other plans for me.

They would never want to put my name on that headcount reduction list in the event that there is this exercise organization-wide. So it became clear that I either resigned on my own accord or I just have t continue working.

Spiritual advice

There was a day that I had a conversation with a spiritual leader regarding my desire to move out from my employment into ministry-related work. I was mentioning about the slowdown in business and just letting things takes its natural course. And that is hoping that the organization carries out a cost-cutting headcount reduction exercise and I can volunteer to be on that list so that someone could have his job remains. Seems like just take it easy and just let things happened.

But this spiritual person knows God’s mind better and her advice to me was more meaningful and makes much sense.

She advises me to resign from the secular job in a step of faith and not to wait to be retrenched. In that way, the Lord Jesus will gets the glory as we have put Him in first place, not a second choice fallback position. How often we uses man’s wisdom to goes about with the work of God in our life and weak in faith. As it was a big decision to resign, time was spent in prayers seeking God’s will and direction on this matter before I finally had a firm conviction to take that step of faith with God.

That big decision

So in the month of Sept of 2015, I tendered my resignation to pursue a life of service for the Lord’s works in whatever ways that He will opens up and leads me into.

Based on my notice, my last day of service was in the month of Oct of 2015 but however because I was in the midst of a major project such that my immediate manager requested that I stayed on for another month to do a smooth transition and handing over of my project’s responsibilities.

As an act of loyal support to my organization whom I have served for so many years, I agreed to this request for an extension beyond the one-month notification period required.

However, I then counter-offered to serve till the end of the year so that I do not lose out financially on the year-end additional 13th month annual wage supplement bonus.

Then in the month of Oct, there was an announcement by the organization that the organization will be carrying out a headcount reduction exercise to be carried out on the month of November. This was widely as expected due to the collapse of oil prices worldwide and the pullback on many major projects.

At that time, we just had a new manager who was brought in to be the supervising manager over my immediate manager.

This new manager, upon the announcement of the retrenchment exercise, came up to me and says that I should have waited, as I should be aware about rumors on retrenchment exercise soon, instead of tendering my resignation. Well my reply was that I have placed this matter in God’s hand by faith. Whether I gets severance compensation package for my many years of service or not is no longer important for me as I want to move into ministry work.

However he was kind to me, expressing that I should be compensated with the severance package, which he feels it is good and helpful for my future endeavors, being aware on my future plan. With that he works on helping to cancel the resignation letter (as it somehow has been KIV due to extension of notice) and to include me in the list of names for retrenchment.

The important day arrive

Sometime later, when it has been finalized by the organization senior management on the list of people who will be retrenched, my manager came with the good news and for me to makes all the necessary preparations.

2 Timothy 2:21 – If a man therefore purge himself from these, he shall be a vessel unto honour, sanctified, and meet for the master’s use, and prepared unto every good work.

The long-awaited day finally came and God is good, using a person (he has said that he is only a tool use by God) who has no obligation to help me in any way, I received a considerable sum of compensation for my many years of service. It also frees me to be His vessel in the days ahead and well provided for as well. It was a day that I have made preparation ahead (Life lesson – Preparing yourself ahead).

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